I've never expected myself to be in this situation where there is favoritism. Its okay if this thing happens in the outside world, unfortunately this thing happens in my family. I had always wanted to feel the true love from both parents. Ive got no one else except for true friends. You may see me smiling where ever i go but those were fake, i don't want to trouble my friends. I've been suffering the pains a very long time ago, yet, i still have to endure. You know how it felt when your parents were having fun with your siblings and you are left all alone? Sometimes i wanna cry but its useless, it wont make things better. I knew i made alot of mistakes but don't you think the other siblings made mistakes too? I felt like speaking up but im scared, they won't listen to me. Their life to me is all just about giving me money and i do my own business. I don't like the way you guys are treating me. Once i nearly made the decision to run away to go to my aunt's place, but i think that's not the right way and i believe that you guys could change.

Now, things are getting worst, who am i to the both of you? I guess im not much than just a trash. You knew i love playing soccer, but have you guys ever came down to any of my big games? I cried when ever i looked at my team mates bringing along their parents. I wanted the same but that won't happen. I've never celebrated my birthday with you before, never before, i asked for it but you said you are busy with work. You know how i felt? Luckily there are friends around me that cheered me up on my special day. Lately you told me to go find a job because you don't wanna give me money no more. I went out and look for jobs, i came home telling you that there's none, you gave me a stern look and called your own son stupid? Yes i am stupid, but im not that stupid the way you think i am. You may not know how i felt typing this out, tears starts to drop. You never say me cry before, never in your whole entire life i bet, let me tell you that im crying at this moment. Im helpless. Mom, dad, i wanna tell you guys that i do love you alot.


Firdaus Jeffrey signing off

Cheerios!